Discovering Your Core Values: The Path to Authentic Living
- Debbie Airth
- Mar 7
- 5 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
Introduction
Welcome back to the "Cultivating Inner Wellness: A Month of Mindful Growth" series! We've explored self-awareness and the power of journaling - tools that help us navigate the pathways to our inner selves.
We've learned how self-awareness allows us to observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment and how journaling provides a safe space for unfiltered self-reflection. Now, as we conclude this first week and this series on self-awareness, we arrive at one of the foundations upon which an authentic life is built: our core values.
Core values are the roots of who we are and the guiding principles that shape our decisions and actions. They give us the direction and focus to find our path toward a life of purpose and fulfillment. Understanding and aligning with these values is important for nurturing our inner wellness.
Understanding Core Values
What exactly are core values? They are the deeply held beliefs that dictate what is most important to you. They are the principles that guide your choices, define your character, and shape your interactions with the world. Identifying your core values brings clarity and purpose, helping you navigate life with intention.
When we live in alignment with our core values, we experience a sense of fulfillment and purpose. It's about more than just knowing what you value; it's about embodying those values in your daily life. For me, Authenticity is a core value. It's about living a life that is true to myself and helping others do the same. I walk this journey with my clients, helping them find and live their authentic truth.
Therapeutic Pathways to Core Values
In my practice, core values play a key role in several therapeutic approaches I may utilize with clients. For instance, Motivational Interviewing (MI) is deeply rooted in respecting client autonomy and collaboration. MI helps clients clarify what is important, exploring the discrepancies between their current behaviours and values.
By connecting the changes they would like to make to their core values, MI strengthens their motivation and supports them in creating goals that align with their authentic selves. It's about empowering clients to discover their inner compass and navigate toward a life that truly resonates with their values.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy clarifies how our core values are deep-rooted qualities of our true Self. IFS posits that everyone has a core Self, a center of wisdom and compassion, which naturally embodies values like compassion, clarity, and courage, which are part of the 8 C's. Through IFS, clients learn to differentiate their Self from their 'parts,' which may carry burdens or engage in protective behaviours that obscure their core values.
By healing inner conflicts and unburdening these parts, IFS empowers clients to live from a place of self-leadership, where their core values naturally guide their actions and decisions. The 8 Cs of the Self serve as a guide, helping clients understand what it means to live authentically from a place of inner harmony.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) emphasizes core values. In ACT, identifying and clarifying your values is not just an exercise in self-discovery; it's a fundamental step towards building a life of meaning and purpose. ACT helps clients recognize that difficult thoughts and feelings are a natural part of life. They don't have to dictate our actions.
By aligning our behaviours with our core values, we can move towards what truly matters, even when faced with adversity. ACT uses values clarification exercises and committed action planning to help clients live by their values, fostering psychological flexibility and a richer, more fulfilling life. The focus on values in ACT helps clients create a worthwhile life.
Identifying Your Core Values
Now that we understand core values, let's explore how to identify them. It's a process of introspection and reflection. Start by reflecting on past experiences: When did you feel most fulfilled? What moments brought you the greatest sense of purpose? Consider what is most important to you in life. What qualities do you admire in others?
Here are some exercises to help you:
Reflect on Peak Experiences: Think about times when you felt truly alive and engaged. What values were being honoured in those moments?
Consider Your Role Models: Who do you admire, and why? What values do they embody?
Imagine Your Ideal Self: What qualities would your ideal self possess?
Here's a list of common core values to get you started:
Integrity
Compassion
Courage
Honesty
Creativity
Connection
Growth
Freedom
Kindness
Respect
Once you have a list, prioritize them. Identify your top 3-5 core values. This is where you focus your energy. This process is an act of Empowerment, taking control of your life's direction and aligning it with what truly matters to you.
Living in Alignment with Your Core Values
Living in alignment with your core values requires conscious effort and daily practice. It means making choices that reflect your values in your daily life, staying true to yourself, and navigating conflicts and challenges.
It also means practicing self-compassion when you deviate from your values. We are all human, and we will inevitably make mistakes. The key is to acknowledge those mistakes, learn from them, and recommit to living in alignment with our values. This requires Strength, the strength to live your truth, even when difficult.
Your Task
Create a list of your top 3-5 core values. Then, for each value, write down one specific action you can take to live more in alignment with it. For example:
Value: Connection
Action: Have a meaningful conversation with a loved one.
Value: Integrity
Action: Be honest in a difficult situation.
Value: Growth
Action: spend 30 minutes learning something new.
Resources
Below are some resources to help you identify your core values. I've attached a couple of different lists of core values. If you are stuck, read through them, and then write down the ones that resonate with you or you want to work on.
Values Discussion Cards and the Setting Valued Goals worksheets are tools to explore your values further.
The Personal Values: Circles of Influence worksheet helps you explore your most important values with those of family, friends, and society. It can also help you understand how other people influence your values and what values they hold.
Call to Action
Reflect on your core values and share your insights in the comments below. Remember, living an authentic life is a continuous journey. I am here to support you on that journey.
This concludes our series on self-awareness. I hope you've found these past three exercises insightful and empowering. Stay tuned for next week's series, where we'll explore strategies for Managing Stress and Anxiety.
I look forward to continuing this journey of inner wellness with you.
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