Finding Your Right Therapist: It's Okay to Keep Looking

Starting therapy is a brave step towards self-discovery and healing. But just like finding the right doctor, dentist, or even hairstylist, finding the right therapist or counsellor is crucial. It's a personal journey, and what works for one person may not work for another. If you've ever felt like a therapist wasn't quite the right fit, know you're not alone. It's more common than you might think, and it's absolutely okay to keep looking.

The Importance of the Therapeutic Relationship

The relationship you build with your therapist is the foundation of effective therapy. It needs to be a space where you feel:

• Safe and comfortable: You should feel able to share your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

• Heard and understood: Your therapist should actively listen and validate your experiences.

• Respected and valued: You should feel accepted for who you are, including all aspects of your identity and background.

• Empowered: Your therapist should support you in finding your own solutions and making positive changes in your life.

  
  

If any of these elements are missing, it can hinder the therapeutic process.

My Own Journey: Finding My Fit

I understand firsthand the importance of finding the right therapist. I saw a few others before I found the therapist who truly helped me feel seen and heard. It wasn't that they were bad therapists, but the connection just wasn't there. I didn't feel fully understood, and the therapeutic approaches didn't resonate with me. This experience, while initially discouraging, taught me a valuable lesson: the right fit does exist. Sometimes, it just takes time and exploration to find it. This personal experience has shaped my practice and deepened my commitment to creating a truly safe and affirming space for my clients.

Signs a Therapist Might Not Be the Right Fit:

Here are some signs that a therapist might not be the best fit for you:

• You don't feel comfortable sharing: If you find yourself holding back or feeling judged, it can be a sign that the therapeutic relationship isn't working.

• You don't feel understood: If you feel like your therapist isn't truly listening or understanding your perspective, it can be difficult to make progress.

• Their approach doesn't resonate with you: Different therapists use different approaches. If you feel like the approach isn't helpful, discussing it or finding a therapist who uses a different method is okay. (For example, if you are interested in Somatic Therapy and your therapist is solely using CBT, that might not be the right fit).

• You feel dismissed or invalidated: Your feelings and experiences should be validated by your therapist. If you feel dismissed or invalidated, it's a red flag.

• There's a lack of cultural sensitivity or understanding: It's essential to find a therapist who is culturally competent and understands your background and identity.

  
  

It's Okay to Keep Looking

If you experience any of these signs, it's important to remember that it's okay to keep looking. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, and it doesn't mean therapy isn't right for you. It simply means you haven't found the right match yet.

Tips for Finding the Right Therapist:

• Ask for referrals: Ask your doctor, friends, or family for recommendations.

• Use online directories: Websites like Psychology Today or a counselling organization's member directory listing page allow you to search for therapists in your area and filter by specialties and other criteria.

• Read therapist profiles: Take the time to read therapist profiles on their websites or online directories to get a sense of their approach and experience.

• Schedule consultations: Many therapists offer free initial consultations. This is a great opportunity to ask questions and see if you feel comfortable with them.

• Trust your gut: The best way to find the right therapist is to trust your intuition. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to move on.

  
  

Your Journey to Healing

Finding the right therapist is an important part of your journey to healing and well-being. Don't give up if you don't find the right fit right away. Keep looking, trust your instincts, and know that the right support is out there.

At E.A.S.E. into Therapy, I am committed to creating a safe, supportive, and affirming space for all individuals. I understand the importance of finding the right fit, and I encourage you to reach out for a consultation to see if we might be a good match.

“Story stewardship means honoring the sacred nature of story—the ones we share and the ones we hear—and knowing that we’ve been entrusted with something valuable or that we have something valuable that we should treat with respect and care. We are good stewards of the stories we tell by trusting them to people who have earned the right to hear them, and telling them only when we are ready. We are good stewards of the stories we hear by listening, being curious, affirming, and believing people when they tell us how they experienced something.” Brené Brown